


You Brother, Not them

by patricia27



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Season/Series 14, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, John Winchester's A+ Parenting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2019-11-27 03:47:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18189368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patricia27/pseuds/patricia27
Summary: It has always been difficult for Dean to get along with other hunters. Sam isn't really helping by being a complete bitch about it and other things. Dean just feels he doesn't belong here/there anymore.Edited





	1. Uncomfortable, Brother

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story in this fandom. I am new to this so please be kind. Sam may seem a little bit of an asshole in the beginning of this but he has his reasons. And i love the brothers bond so i won't ever do wrong by them.  
> Also, English isn't my language so if anybody would like to beta my work for better experience of my horrible angsty writing. I'll be grateful forever.  
> Background for the story : Michael was killed by JACK (was able to take his grace back from lucifer, with deans help), when he took control of Dean for the first time itself. So for this story pretend there is no Michael threat looming over TFW.02.

When you have lived more than half of your life out of motel rooms and a black masculine car, with only a snobby nerdy kid (his brother’s words) and your grunt of an absent father, it takes some time to adjust to a life in a full fledged home with multiple rooms and a kitchen with a stove. 

But, not Dean. 

No, he had adjusted to THAT pretty quickly. It had felt too easy in some respects to Sam who for a fact knew that his brother was not the kind to settle down and keep it calm. But when he really thought about it, it was more a stable place to come back to, like bobby’s house had been for the boys for many years (before it had burned down to the ground, literally). A safe retreat.

Sam was the one who had struggled with that. He had never allowed himself to think of a stable home, apple pie and picket fences after what went down with Amelia (and before that Jess). So, it was more like a retreat to him since the beginning. Not until his brother had made it more of a home (chick-flick but you like it Dean, so shut it.) with all the cooking and the decorations and celebrations whenever they had time.

This, the feeling of belonging, the calm that came with some place to call their own, had made Sam into someone he had wanted to be at one point in his life.  
With all the books, all that knowledge in their hands, it had made Sam feel powerful, feel independent. 

And all the riff and the inevitable fight and win against the British Men of Letters had given Sam confidence and sort of a path different from just being a Hunter. He was a legacy, a Man of Letters AND a Hunter. Not many people could amount to that, His brother could, yes, but he didn’t think Dean was interested much in the reading bit of it.

Well, what all this boils down to, is that Sam is not ignorant enough (like his brother) to notice, and realise his own capability at leadership. Between him and Dean, it always comes down to Dean to be the leader, the decision maker, and even though Sam is mostly happy to do the thinking and the planning bit of it, it sometimes just gets tiresome to follow Dean around. And irritating. Yes, Sam can accept such stuff unlike his brother. Which is why, Sam enjoys being “Chief” for all the other world hunters. He may not like the nickname ( well, he likes it a bit, but don’t tell Dean) always but the respect, the responsibility and the freedom that comes with it is just exhilarating. 

There have been mishaps and missteps and failures along the way, but in the 3 months that he is been leading this pack of hunters, who also resides with them, he has enjoyed the company and the companionship of it all, learned lessons and taken all the failures as a part and parcel of being in this field. Which he knows for a fact Dean could not ever do, and it guiltily makes him feel a bit more proud of himself.

Although, he’s also aware that these months have been comparatively quiet, they had that one mishap with other world Michael coming back but it actually turned out in their favour when he helped in killing Lucifer while Jack took care of the master planner himself. 

It helps that Jack is learning and enjoying the attention even though most of the hunters are still wary of him and Cas owing to their experience with the Angels. But Sam likes to think they are getting there, beginning to loose their inhibitions and starting to accept and trust.

It’s actually Dean who is really bothering Sam. Well, it was expected, wasn’t it?

 

Dean comes inside the kitchen, looking like a disgruntled little child with sleepy eyes, frown on his stubbled face and his ever present Dead man’s gown on. It was a sight Sam was too used to, to even consider as something odd, so he simply went back to his self-made ( admittedly not as good as Dean’s reluctant ones) Salad with mashed potatoes.

It was however not an usual sight for Dean, who after hearing snickers and half assed comments about something or other, looked around to finally notice the added company to his brother’s presence. It startled Dean to say the least. 

On the road in their earlier years or later, they had never had company of so many people, it had always been only him, Sam and dad and occasionally either Pastor Jim, Bobby or Caleb, later there had only been Bobby, and even after they had inherited this bunker, not many people have been invited to their sanctuary. Cas, Charlie, Mom, Rowena, Crowley (uninvited) mainly, and not always together. It’s because it is THEIR sanctuary.

Now, Dean looks around and he can see 10 people he doesn’t recognize milling about HIS kitchen and snickering and passing comments. He frowns slightly, the lack of his morning coffee making him more prone to irritation than usual. A slight twitch of his head and he’s focusing his wandering eyes over his brother. The only familiar face he can see in the room right now.

But what he sees stills him for a moment. His brother is sitting at the head of the big table they sometime moved into the kitchen, all relaxed and smiling and confident. It gives Dean a pause to see his brother so relaxed and into his element with these people. Dean could never for the life of him get along well with other hunters, specially when there were so many. But ironically, Sam who wasn’t even into that in hunting has always been the better communicator, better organizer with a large group, between the two of them.

It steals the words of disdain Dean had been thinking of throwing around and suddenly he is the one who is standing there, in his too short shorts and a dead man’s gown. Not for the first time, he feels odd in this kitchen. He realizes why he had been avoiding coming down here during these hours. 

Don’t get him wrong. He is proud of his brother. He loves that kid with everything he has in him left to give. He enjoys seeing Sam this confident and nicely fitting with people other than him. Although it also gives him a slight scare that he just doesn’t want to think about.So even though, feeling like a freak is not exactly a new feeling when you have lived a life on road and always been the “new kid” in schools. This has been the place where he didn’t have to sensor himself, the place he has always felt in his element at. But the storm of freshly well dressed hunters milling about, talking makes him feel not so much at home.

It’s taken all of Dean’s limited morning energy supply to stand there and wait for his coffee to brew before he can make his escape. He tries his best to seem as harmless and invisible as possible. Even though the uncertain looks he is receiving from most of the men make him want to forget about his coffee and just leave. Breakfast is not even an option right now. He’ll come out when the place is sure to be empty. He isn’t sure when that happens though. May be he’ll order another meat lovers.

Sam doesn’t even meet his eyes after the half assed greeting with that bitch face #5 of his ( a combination of disappointed, embarrassed and fond), too busy solving problems and interacting. Dean shudders at the thought.

He hears the coffee machine beep along with a question aimed towards him but directed at his brother which just makes him pause…  
“ Hey Chief! Your brother ere any good hunter or is he just good at ridin’ angels? Thought I heard about im from others a bit”

The disdain that fills the last words and the implication of them makes Dean shiver, with anger or fear even he isn’t sure. And then Sam is looking up at the man with something of a warning in his eyes as far as dean knows that fire anyway. Because when Sam looks at him after, his eyes hold nothing but mirth in them. 

He simply says ignoring the question and the comment altogether… “ Got a few new hunts. Anybody interested?”

And there are nods all around the table and movement as Sam stands up and others just follow him naturally. Dean can sense Cas behind him and he can sense his need to step forward and say something but Dean just backs away and holds Cas back too as a pretence to make more space for the cavern to leave. 

Sam is the last one out and he stops by them and asks pointedly “ interested?”

Cas steps forward this time and Dean doesn’t have the energy to hold him back in front of his brother’s uninterested calmness “ Why didn’t you answer that Man? Riding Angels? He doesn’t know what..”

Sam interrupts him with a raised eyebrow and “ Well, I couldn’t refute him now, could I? Dean hasn’t exactly set an extraordinary example of being anything else recently.” He says again in a softer tone after seeing Dean’s blank stare “ and anyways, its just the way they talk and process things Cas, they are from a world that required even little kids to be hands on, they value strength and effort”

It feels like a slap to his face. Dean knows he hasn’t been any help with hunts lately, he knows he has been too cooped up in his room, coming out mostly at odd hours in the night or in the day. But that is because he just doesn’t like the crowded feeling of the bunker and moreover the questions and the comments like today’s. These people are not exactly sympathizers of Michael vessel. It’s a double edged sward really. If he doesn’t interact he is the odd aloof good for nothing brother, and if he does he is the guy who agreed to ride the angel.

He has been saying no to hunts with the other world hunters for weeks now. Trying to avoid any unnecessary interactions, he goes on solo hunts, mostly avoiding to take even Cas with him so that Sam can have someone to watch his back. And Sam who has been too busy to even sleep lately has mostly missed his disappearances.

Sam is a good hunter, better than Dean himself he knows, but Dean is more experienced, he knows how to pick up hunts in their initial stages when most hunters won’t even suspect anything supernatural and that’s the reason Sam doesn’t know about his solo hunts. Dean would like to keep it that way. He doesn’t want to get saddled with parenting one of the other worlders. Moreover , he doesn’t want to snatch this persona away from his brother, it suits him. Even if it reminds Dean too much of DAD and his ways. Makes him shiver every damn time they refer to his brother as “ Chief”

So when he recognizes Cas’s need to refute that statement he just pulls a smile on his face and says as teasingly and as obnoxiously as possible…

“ Why Sammy! You not able to handle your merry band of hunters without the support of me now? I was sure I could give myself a trip to grand canyon with so many more hunters to take the job now.”

Three of them are the only ones standing in the kitchen now. It makes Dean feel a bit better about himself and automatically his shoulders sag from their defensive posture to a more comfortable stance. He is sure he can handle his brother. But when Sam’s unwavering gaze falls on him, dean tries not to cave…

Sam looks at his brother and says in calm tone, “ Do you think I don’t know where you have been going Dean? I know you think I don’t manage this all well, don’t sleep enough, eat enough etc etc but I manage to DO my job properly enough, I assure you.”

Dean pauses and looks at his brother for a moment. The comment catching him off guard more times than the expected one. He couldn’t really explain to Sam how wrong he was about his last statement. But he would try,

Dean says softly, his shoulders drawing back but his eyes showing the pride he felt in his brother “ I just think that you need to take care of yourself a bit more Sammy (the nickname rolling off his tongue effortlessly in his affection for his brother) and that beard needs to go too(that brought a smile to his brother’s face), but I don’t think that there is anybody better for this job than you Sam. (self-deprecatingly) Certainly not me.”

Cas looked at both brothers carefully, He could see the pride and confidence and self -assurance built in Sam with dean’s words, he could see Sam wanting to move forward and take that step to close this chasm that has been created between the two brothers and he could see the young man restricting himself. 

Sam stopped and said after considering his words for a moment, “ then why go on hunts alone Dean? And those hunts, (sternly) we do need to talk about their outcome”  
Dean huffed and looked at Sam and answered simply, “ I am fine Sam, I have been doing this since I was 8. (Cas really wanted to say something about that) And the outcome was that I killed the bastard. All done.”

Sam took a breath and wanted to discuss more but then there were voices coming from outside and Sam just said through his eyes “ this isn’t over” before leaving to his team. 

Cas and Dean were left behind and Cas didn’t know what he could say right now so he just said, “ I’ll go with him, but you tell me before going on a hunt if you are planning to.”  
Dean rolled his eyes exaggeratedly before moving into the empty kitchen to prepare his breakfast with a “ sure CAS”.


	2. Trying, Brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. I am sorry for being so late with this but life and studies got in between.  
> Now, however i have somewhat of a clear view of where this is going and how many chapters it will have ( most probably). Updates would be random though, sorry.  
> Still in need of a BETA.

 

It’s been 3 days and Dean hasn’t yet come across a single case worth checking out. It total 5 days since he has been on a hunt and his skin’s itching by now for something to do. Its only so much Netflix that one person can watch for hours on end. It’s not only the lack of hunt alone that’s got him in frenzy though. Now a days it’s more of a necessity for him to go out on a hunt or simply to take long drives with his baby.

The crowd in the bunker makes Dean feel claustrophobic in his own room even. The inability to just simply walk out and roam the halls or corners of the bunker, dwell for hours in the library or just simply the regular normal routine of checking out for hunts with Sam. He misses doing all this stuff. He misses setting up stall and cleaning their weapons. The mindlessness of that task made him relax. Now all these things are done by the other world hunters who are glad for some work to do.

He knows he can still do these things if he could just cope with extra roaming heads and comments and small talks that now goes around hand in hand with these things. But Dean isn’t really a person to dwell with big crowds. It has always been him and Sammy, on road, at the back seat of impala or in motels for weeks on end. They hadn’t had a house but it had felt like home anyways.

This just doesn’t seem very much like home anymore.

It isn’t that he hasn’t tried. He has. In the past he did try to research hunts with Sammy or to tag along on one. But the comments and the simple comfortable way everybody just got along made Dean feel, _wrong._ He had tried to coax Sam to go on a hunt with him but the guy was just too swamped with his responsibilities right now to go on the full task of taking a hunt. Coordinating hunters is a full time job. Boring as all hell it may be.

Dean sighed and flopped back on his bed with his eyes fixed on the ceiling. Should he go out and talk to Sam, help him with tasks, find a hunt or something or to simply annoy him?

A smile graced upon Dean’s lips thinking about the bitch face Sam would reward him with for interrupting him. But it soon turned bitter when he remembered what Sam had said a few days back about him wanting dean to pull his weight with other hunters. To go on jobs with them.

May be he should annoy Cas instead. But he would be with Sam. In war room. Where there were other hunters. Along with Sam, Cas has also accepted this like he was meant to do it. May be he was. Before his choices for dean dragged him down.

Sigh, running this home base hunters thing was so not up his ally.

He sighed and closed his eyes before laying back more comfortably over his memory foam. He could go out to get a pie. It just didn’t sound that interesting. So he relaxed in his place.

Thoughts and memories floated around in his head without his mind settling on any particular one. Memories of a toddler Sam, more grown up, a Sam growing in his own person, fights and debates with Dad, Dad being angry and being proud…

His mind suddenly settled on that one memory…

                                                                                            -----------------------------------------------

_They were in California for this one._

_It was cold as all hell. (wait, isn’t hell hot? Hunh). And Dean was getting bored. He was kind of free since Sam had taken up the dreaded task of researching for the hunt so Dean was left with some free time before he had to go with Dad._

_He was spending that alone time lying on his bed and reading one of those physics books he had picked up out of curiosity at the gas station. It was ok kind of. Dean was just not too involved in it. He was more of a machine kind of a guy and not atoms. Plus he couldn’t hint to dad that he was slacking off on researching. That was HIS job after all._

_But Sam had OFFERED. He had himself asked Dean that he wanted to help on this one and he’ll go to the library and all and go through books. Dean couldn’t deny him what he desired now, could he? Even though he suspected that it was more about the cute girl at the library his 16 year old brother has his eyes for._

_Dean smirked to himself, thinking about his little brother all grown up and having crushes. Although it also reminded him of the other aspects Sam had grown in. The boy was just too damn smart for his own good. And too morally good for their lifestyle. Hence the never ending fights and debates (which escalated to fights) with Dad._

_It all just made Dean feel tired and divided. He wanted Sam to have a life better that this. He wanted him to live his dreams, to study and do what he loved most. To have that apple pie white picket fence life. But then he thought about Sam leaving, him never coming back and he thought that may be they needed to stay together?_

_It was then, perfect time almost because dean knew he was going morbid now, that the motel door opened and dean looked up to see his brother, all long and gangly limbs (he needed more of those green food, Dean would remember to pick something up), come inside and dump his bag on the floor._

_“ Hey bitch! Had a fun time with those books?”_

_Dean asked his brother cheerfully with a smirk on his face. Sam looked at him confused for a moment before shrugging it off as he did most of Dean’s antics._

_“ jerk. And yes i managed to figure out what we are hunting, since you so graciously asked”_

_Sam said to his brother while moving towards the kitchen to get himself some water. This task, researching had been easy. He had be able to kill two birds with one arrow. He got to research for his essay topics while going through lore books and he could get brownie points with Dad._

_So he smiled, relaxed and went to sit on the single couch beside the one dean was currently occupying, mindlessly focusing on the TV._

_“ Dude, seriously Dr.Sexy again?”_

_“hey! It’s the greatest show made on medical drama ever”_

_Sam sighed and spied the remote lying on the table in front him, he grabbed it using his long gangly arms before Dean could even blink an eye. Triumphantly he changed the channel to a documentary he didn’t really want to watch but it would mess with dean._

_Dean whined from his place and Sam had to smile. He had been correct._

_“bitch!”_

_“jerk”_

_They spent the next few minutes in comfortable silence. Both lost in their own thoughts while the documentary continued on giving them the background noise._

_Sam had been meaning to tell his brother about this thing for long but he had never gotten a good opportunity with so many back to back hunts coming their way where Dad needed Dean with him. Sam still was rarely allowed on hunts and he was pretty happy with that. Even though it made him feel inadequate in some way because he knew for a fact that Dean had started hunting with Dad when he was just 12._

_He wanted to tell dean when suddenly Dean said interrupting him…_

_“ hey, so the hunt? What did you find out?”_

_Sam sighed and told dean what he had found out. All details and little points he had managed to collect for himself. Connecting little dots and the big ones and how he had come to the conclusion that it was a pair of Demigods that they were hunting. Demigods of bees apparently._

_Dean just heard it all nodding and humming and Sam felt proud of himself when at the end of it Dean stood up and patted his back, which turned into an epic bitch face when dean messed up his hair with a laugh and “ Good work, Bitch!”_

_“ Don’t touch my hair, JERK!” and it was not said fondly. Not completely._

_“ yeah, yeah, I know you love it.”_

_“ so you were gonna say something before?”_

_“ I.._

_And sam realised that this was apparently not the DAY he was going to tell dean about Stanford and applications and essays, when the front door got 3 knocks in quick succession followed by 2 in slow._

_Both the boys focused on the sound and Sam sighing, got up to open the door._

_“ Hey, Dad. How was the hustling?”_

_Dean sighed and gave a look to his brother who shrugged and moved to the side to let their Dad in, the boy couldn’t spend a moment in their father’s presence without snarking his time through it. John much in habit of his youngest’s passive aggressive behaviour with him just got in and replied with his own snark,_

_“ Good enough to keep your mouths fed, boy”_

_Well, the reply was much better than what Dean would have got, the “ What did you say Boy?”, it made Sam bristle but at least his dad treated the comment with equality._

_Dean came back from the kitchen and handed their father a water bottle while Sam moved back to the couch. He heard Dad ask Dean pointedly.._

_“ are you done with the research? Did you find something useful?”_

_“ Yeah Dad, I am done. We are up with a coupl’ of Demigods. Who apparently like bees. That’s why all that honey smell”_

_John raised an eyebrow at his eldest’s confidence and said while moving further into the room._

_“ give me the details will you?”_

_“ yeah sure, Dad.”_

_Sam gaped at his brother feeling the sting of betrayal when it was not mentioned that Sam was the one who had done all the research. He wanted to interrupt and inform his Dad anyways, he wanted those brownie points. He didn’t want to stay scooped up in here, he had been hoping to go on the school’s educational trip!_

_But when his eyes met his brother’s he saw the plead there and huffed and relented while just turning his face away. Dean would have to get him the allowance now, plead beg whatever, he didn’t care. It was his hard work his brother was showing off anyway._

_So he sat there and listened to his brother monologue about the fine points of “ his” research while Dad listened and cross questioned him._

_Sam annoyed didn’t pay much attention until Dad addressed him…_

_“ Sam, go on and get some wood from the truck, I think I had bought some last time”_

_Sam huffed and nodded, getting up without meeting any one of their eyes._

_It was while he was just outside the door that he heard…_

_“ Dean did you really research a word of this or it was all Sam?”_

_“HEY!” he could hear Dean say indignantly. Caught off guard._

_“ don’t HEY me boy! this has Sam written all over it, that Boy is just too smart for his own good. You wouldn’t have done a job half this good, if you even bothered to do it, period. You know it.”_

_The deafening silence from inside made Sam feel angry and triumphant all at once. He was happy Dad called his research worth something, but he was angry that he didn’t think Dean could do a job as good._

_“ I am sorry, Sir.”_

_Sam closed his eyes and after a minute crossed the lobby and outside to get the wood._

_It was not the first time he had heard a conversation of this type and it wouldn’t be the last. Dean never stood up for himself and Dad never stopped belittling his efforts._

_Sam got to go on his school’s educational trip because apparently Dad had gotten a good hand at pool ( which he suspected, not Dad’s win, but that the money came from Dad) and Dean for the next hunts never shrugged off on research._

_He made it a point to research each and every point and find out every single detail even though half of the time he could figure out a hunt from it’s most basics. It irked sam but Dean wanted to show off even though Dad never did acknowledge it._

                                                                     --------------------------------------

He was still thinking on those words, _“ you couldn’t have done a job half as good…”_ when there was a hard knock on his door. He looked up from his prone position and then to his watch which showed the time as 11:25 P.M, and shouted “ I am decent” before lying back down.

He heard a huff from outside before the door was opened and his brother walked in, confirming his guess as if it would have been Cas, he would have simply opened the door to ask “ _I know you are a decent human being Dean, you don’t need to say it every time I knock”_ , it always made dean cackle and feel embarrassed.

Dean didn’t acknowledge his brother, waiting for him to talk first. He kept staring absentmindedly at the ceiling. It was just one example of the level of trust between them that dean could just lie in such a prone position while sam stood there,,,

“ I found you a hunt”

Dean opened one eye and after getting the sentence completely, opened his other one and finally looked up at his brother…

“ only me?”

“ yeah”

Dean sat up asking suspiciously.

“ what’s the catch..”

“ well...”

“ Sammy…”

“ Billy, crissy, joy and taro will be joining you..”

“ Sam you know…” dean growled this time, irritated.

“ Dean, please, they all have heard about you, they know you go on hunts because they have seen the mess you make and leave behind ( Dean stared at his brother, bristling) and they are learning their way here..”

“ Nope”

“Dean, it would be good for you, You have been cooped up here for how long, now?”

“ not long enough to make me baby sit those people..voluntarily”

“ you are babysitting no one here. They are good independent hunters. They just need directions, literally. And you need to get out.”

“ well haha Sammy, the jokes on you because I don’t wanna get out!”

Sam sighed and this time commented more forcefully.

“ Dean, don’t act like a child. I have been working with them for quite some time now, you haven’t been on a hunt for days and I know you are itching to be on one. Plus it’ll be good for you to be out in the field with them. Give you the pointers how we are clearing up hunts these days. Less messy you know. They are good hunters Dean.”

“ I don’t make a mess Sam, I have been hunting much longer than you. I Know how to do my job” Dean answered shrewdly, angry with his brother now.

“ apparently not good enough..”

 _“ You wouldn’t have done a job half as good..”_ Dean heard those lines again and it took physically shaking his head to make him realise it was Sam standing there and not John. It was Sam’s words and not their Dad’s.

 It took Dean a minute before he looked his brother in the eyes and said..

“ Alright”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember Guys, Sam is not cruel or bad or anything. His reasons would be revealed soon enough.  
> I have made some edits in the first chapter so be sure to check that one out once as well. Nothing major though so you are fine if you don't want to.  
> Last, Thank you for all the kudos guys!


	3. Do you see, brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back much earlier than even i anticipated so i guess enjoy the unexpected update!

 

So, Dean went on that hunt. And another one and then another after that. The hunts never stopped popping up and Dean no longer argued over which hunt or with whom. It had been almost surreal the first few times because while packing his bags Dean would look in his direction waiting for something but never saying a word other than grumbling or just his general gruffness. But even that stopped after Hunt No. 10 and Sam found himself patting his own back.

He had after all done a Good job getting his brother out of his shell. Just a few well-placed comments and BAM!

Now, He was in the kitchen hoping to catch Dean and persuade him to make some breakfast eggs for him, he was also hoping to discuss a few problems with his brother and wanted some advice, when he suddenly realised something else…

He hadn’t seen or talked to Dean in more than a week now. How was that even possible? They freaking lived in the same place and even though the place was bigger and had more hidden rooms than an ancient manor, it was still usual for the brothers to catch each other every day or at the very least every other day.

So why hasn’t he seen Dean in over a week? Even when Dean was in hiding after the whole Michael debacle, they both had had conversations almost every day. If not Sam going to Dean’s room then sometimes in the kitchen or other times in the library or the war room. Even days after Dean had started to visit the war room more frequently and had helped with hunts or simply provided Sam with the sprite he needed from work and hunts. Sure Dean got on his nerves sometimes, but it was all good fun to make Sam relax. He suddenly missed those times.

He remembers sending dean and a few others on a hunt nearby. But it was only a vampire nest and it wouldn’t have taken them more than 2 days.

He frowned and replacing his coffee mug on the table moved out of the kitchen towards Dean’s room to see whether he was even here or not. He reached Dean’s room and finding the door slightly ajar he knocked on it while simultaneously pushing it back. He was welcomed into empty darkness with no sign of Dean. Where was Dean?

His frown deepened as he closed the door carefully while moving out and taking his phone out of his pocket to call Dean. However before he could place the call he was interrupted by Joey, one of the hunters with whom Dean had went on that Vampire hunt.

“ Hey! CHIEF! What’s up?”

“ hey joey. When did you guys get back from that hunt? I don’t think I heard anything from either of you?”

“ oh yeah! We actually reported to Castiel since you were busy with another hunt far out and looked too stressed. We got back 3 days ago though. More vampire nests than we anticipated actually. But MAN…do remind me to never to get on your Brother’s Bad side boss. The man is a menace in field. Total Badass!”

Sam smiled proudly although now something prickled ugly in the back of his head, but he still answered with a smile.. “ Don’t say that to his face. I’ll never hear the end of it. Have you heard the Hitler story yet?”

“Hitler story? Well that does sound interesting..”

Sam frowned, Dean gushed that story out to all the available ears. Multiple times. But he hadn’t shared that bit with joey? Who actually was one of the hunters from other world who got along with dean? Well as much as anyone could get along with the guy. That brought Sam back to the ugly prickling sensation. So he quickly diffused the talk with…

“ well I’ll let the man himself tell you that story. For now I have something to attend to. Good talking to you joey..”

“ sure Chief!”

So Sam moved ahead towards his next destination which was the library. He was hoping to find Cas there. And also hoping that he knew Dean’s whereabouts even though it would just make that sting in his heart grow deeper.

He entered inside the room and spied CAS sitting with jack at one of the corner tables while several other hunters were roaming around the room going through lore books or simply books that caught their interest. It was an amazing site. The standard, the effect of so many hunters working together was astounding to Sam.

But right now, he just felt on edge. The lack of communication from his brother and the lack of the knowledge about his location and hence the inability of having his back made Sam feel wrong in his own skin.

He took few long legged steps towards Cas and Jack and asked directly when he knew he was in hearing distance of only the two and not the entire room.

“ hey SAM!”

“ Hello SAM”

“ Do you know where DEAN is?”

At that Cas who had just slightly glanced up upon his arrival, focused his blue gaze on him. That gaze was intense, those blue eyes unnatural and had an ethereal glow to them. Cas’s Grace was reflected in those eyes. He answered slowly as if talking to a child…

“ Yes. He went on another hunt the same day his team reported back after the hunt in Illinois”

Why didn’t anybody inform Sam about it? Why didn’t Dean say something? He was always bitchy after a hunt with long drives, missing his memory foam since they had come to bunker and before that just irritation because of long nights on road and no shower. ( yeah, his brother was high maintenance that way). They usually avoided any back to back hunts these days, not only because they were tired but because there were a lot more people to give a hand.

“ Why?”

Cas looked up at him again and Sam saw him analysing him, he wanted to snap at Cas but before he could say anything, Cas beat him to it.  
  
 “ hey jack you go on with this one, me and Sam are going to have a conversation”

Sam couldn’t help rolling his eyes. Cas was just so smooth. Yes, he was being sarcastic.

Both men meandered out of the library before either decided to say a word. And Cas beat him to it again. Well the guy was getting good at conversations and talks now. Sam wondered from whom he learned that from. Neither him nor Dean (specially) were very good conversationalists.

“ he said something about pulling his own weight”

Sam couldn’t help but stare at Cas. And even though Cas was more than 4 inches shorter than Sam, in that moment it felt like Sam was looking up at Cas. It was amazing how the angel could seem more than his own compact self. But then his real power, real form must be really something that was much larger and consuming. Sam could only say..

“ What?”

“ he said something about pulling his own weight and learning something, Sam”

“ but, b..but why did he? I..I didn’t…” Sam stammered because it felt like that axe that had lodged itself in his heart since that morning had been pushed deeper. He hadn’t meant it that way, it was just, it was just a trick damn it!

“ I presume that it was you who told him that? And that it means something much more than I can understand.”

Sam glanced at Cas and realised that it was not just righteous anger that was burning behind those eyes, there was also confusion. Which Sam realised was because Cas didn’t really understand the statement.

“ it…” Sam didn’t know how to explain what weight that single statement held in context to Dean, he couldn’t even find the words to say anything. He moved his hand through his hair frustratedly.

“ Sam, I would really like to know what is going on? And if I can help in any manner. You seem agitated and Dean just seems tired. I can pick up the load with other hunters if you both need a few days off, or even if you both just need to go on a hunt together,” Cas said calmly. His tone as soft as any ethereal beings could get.

“..I..No I don’t think…it’s not…”

“ Sam. How long has it been since you two have been on a hunt. Just the two of you.”

Sam thought about it and the answer just made him feel more like he was falling off the axis. The two of them hadn’t been on a hunt since forever really, Since Dean had said Yes to Michael , because after that Sam had become busy with the other world hunters.

They hadn’t been on a hunt together since 2 months? May be more.

He suddenly remembered a conversation a few weeks back…

_“ Sammy, behold all your horses because I have found us a hunt! Now you can’t blame me for not working”_

_“That’s great. I think Rory and Caddy are free. ( sensing Dean wanted to interrupt).  I am busy Dean, can’t we do this later?”_

_“ It’s in Vegas Sam. WE can have fun and by we I mean you and me. Teach Cas some tricks if he wants to come along too. Come on Sam pack up”_

_“ Dean. I am coordinating 3 hunts right now. One of them seems a bit too much for the guys to handle and I have to send another team there, and since you are not interested in work I have to find someone else. So spare me the details of your Vegas hunt. If it seems important I am sure you can handle it”_

_“ Common Sammy, hand the reigns to someone else for a few days. You need to relax too. And a hunt is a hunt. You’ll technically still be working.”_

_“ Yeah, hand the reigns to whom? You? Oh I am sorry…you are more interested in going to Vegas than working. I am fine here, Dean. If you wanna go so bad, take someone else with you.”_

_“ It’s not about fucking ve.....(after few minutes silence while Sam was still busy with his laptop) alright, fine”_

Sam frowned slightly, his heart aching when he realised that it was just his brother’s way of telling him that he had needed some time alone just with the two of them. Out of the bunker and out on the road. Two of them having fun and working on a hunt. Like before. Like how home and stability felt like. And Sam had cruelly pushed him away.

“ SAM”

“ I…I don’t know what’s been going on cas” he looked helplessly towards the angel.

Cas nodded softly in understanding even though Sam couldn’t say what he understood because Sam himself was at a loss here. He had been working, helping! Dean was on hunts now, he was opening up! More and more hunters from the other world now often asked Sam for Dean to go with them. Dean had seemed more relaxed too these past few weeks, although tired. Sam had attributed that tiredness to multiple hunts after long but may be it was something else?

“Sam…”

Sam looked up from where he had focused his eyes on the ground thinking. They were now in kitchen which was blessedly empty for once and Cas was holding a mug towards him.

“ take this and sit down. We are going to have a talk.”

Sam took the mug from Cas’s hands not feeling anything and just went and silently sat down on a chair. The warmth of the hot liquid warming him from outside but Sam didn’t think that the cold that has seeped inside him right now could be thawed so easily.

After few minutes Sam felt Cas sit on the chair opposite his with a similar steaming mug in his hands. The angel couldn’t really taste anything still but he has developed fondness for coffee somehow.

“ Did you know that Dean’s actually been going on more hunts than you send him on”

Well another thing Sam has been unaware of.

“ what? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“ I thought you would notice the weariness I could feel coming off him in waves at some point while sending him on a hunt. Since that’s the only time you guys seem to be in the same room now.”

The passive aggressive tone of Cas’s voice was grating on sam’s already frayed nerves. But right now the slight inclination he was getting on what was going on was more important. So Sam buried his irritation and answered in neutral tone.

“That’s not it. I have talked to him multiple times after hunts, we have had conversations…

“ yeah? What did you guys talk about? Other than the details of a hunt or how it was cleaned up after?” Cas interrupted him sharply.

“ We..umm…we…” Sam couldn’t remember a conversation with his brother where they had just simply talked. Talked about anything and everything and bickered like little school children which Cas would give fond looks to. Talked about movies or food or simply about life. They both were not much into sharing, it was Winchester right to share as minimum as possible, but they both were still well versed in each other. The knowing of a person and talking for hours or sitting silently with a person that came with understanding and knowledge and time spent together without any meaning but holding great conversations.

The time which Sam realised now has been missing from his daily routine for quite some time now.

He looked up and saw Cas looking back at him. He said silently in a soft tone…

“ I can’t remember when we had a conversation. Just a normal conversations.”

Cas sighed and nodded softly. He said after few minutes…

“ I don’t think you realise Sam the impact that the sudden presence of so many unknown people has had on Dean. After the whole Michael scenario that too…”

“ I DO!” Sam replied defensively. Cas remained silent so Sam continued further.

“ I know he has problem getting along with a big crowd of hunters, because really( he winced slightly) his experience with Dad’s hunter friends wasn’t always good. Bobby and pastor jim and caleb were good to us, but not all of Dad’s friends were. (pressingly) So I know what effect this has had on him. I have been trying to help him!”

“ Help him?” Cas asked softly. The statement catching him off guard and prompting him to veer off topic.

“ Yeah! He always does this when we work with a large group he doesn’t know or just isn’t so familiar with. Leaves it on me and just does the bare minimum of work. But that’s because he has problem getting himself oriented and comfortable. This used to happen all the time while we were young.”

Cas remained silent for a few moments trying to gather all he could from the statement and all he himself knew of the two men’s past and Dean’s nature. He couldn’t comprehend and align what sam was saying with what he knew. He asked softly…

“ Sam I don’t think you are understanding this correctly. Yeah, Dean feels uncomfortable with this crowd but that’s not just because…

“ Cas. I KNOW he feels uncomfortable with them and feels shy and stuff. (cas frowns slightly) I told you it happened every time Dad brought some of his other hunter friends along. That’s why I have been trying to bring him out with them. Send him on hunts with them more often. I have been doing all this shit just so he can get comfortable with these people…”

“ Sam. I don’t think this was the way to go about it. You should have talked to him. I don’t think the opening up was the real problem.”

Sam sighed and combed his hair with his hand agitatedly. Did Cas have nothing to tell Sam other than something Sam knew about better than him already? He has known Dean for fucking 30 years. That is a long time to still have misconceptions about someone. Plus Cas didn’t know how Dean got with other hunters. He hasn’t seen it before now.

Sam didn’t think he could sit here talking this out with Cas when he had other work he could finish before Dean got back so that he could have a conversation with him instead. If Cas didn’t know anything useful, sam would much rather utilise his time getting his work done.

“ Cas, if this is what you thought is bothering him, I have to tell you I have handled it. That’s what I have been doing. I KNOW this works” Sam said forcefully hoping to get through to the still frowning and doubtful looking cas.

“ I’ll leave if that is just what you wanted to talk about. I’ll talk to dean myself when he gets back. Good day Cas.”

He was almost to the kitchen door after finishing his coffee and washing his mug off when he heard Cas ask softly…

“ What is it you have been doing for Dean. ( when sam looked at him confused, cas elaborated further) You said it’s what you have doing. What is it? To bring Dean out of his shell ( he used the hand quotes) as you said”

Sam rolled his eyes trying to keep his frustration in. But Cas seemed calm and Sam wanted to tell someone about how he has helped Dean. How he has followed something and gotten good results. He knew he was looking for acceptance and praise here but he couldn’t help it. So he agreed and moved back to his place in front of Cas.

“ Well, Dad always said that the best thing to make Dean work or come out is to insinuate that he couldn’t do that thing or just doesn’t do it good enough. (smilingly) it took me a long time to figure out how perfect his technique had been but I saw the results and I applied it here. (proudly) And I am sure even you can see the results.”

Cas stayed silent. His fingers clenched in a tight fist and his mouth turned in a angry line.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Reviews are always appreciated.  
> 


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